Day 3 Or.. Textured Vegetable Protein + Lots of Flavors = Buffalo Wings and Cheeseburgers

100% Vegetarian. That's what the Morningstar Farms package of "Buffalo Wings" says. The package also promised that the veggie wings inside would have "Buffalo wing taste with a crispy, golden breading -- hot and spicy!" I was as skeptical as you would be. Trust me.

What do vegetarians do when they crave a cheeseburger, or sausage, or buffalo wings? They could completely forget their lifestyle choice and plunge into some meat, but that's not very likely. Instead, they reach for a meat substitute. There are several available including tofu, textured vegetable protein, and tempeh. I'll explore each of these during this experiment.

I've never had tofo or tempeh before, but I've ventured into the world of textured vegetable/soy protein several times, simply out of curiousity. Months before this project began, I had already enjoyed Boca Burgers, Morningstar Farms veggie burgers, Morningstar Farms "chicken" patties, and Morningstar Farms pizza burgers. So, using textured vegetable protein seemed like a safe way to add to my menu. I stocked up on some new items that I'll tell you about today. Textured vegetable protein is probably the most popular meat substitute. Apparently, if you add enough spices and flavors to it, you can turn it into something that resembles chicken or beef. Weird.













As my wife and I sat down to enjoy the prospect of eating vegetarian "buffalo wings" the conversation went something like this...
Me: "I'm scared Darling."
Carolyn: "I'm not; this actually looks like real food."
Me: "That's what I'm afraid of. Chicken wings with NO chicken."

After a dramatic pause and stare, we take our first bite. These things were spicy and I'm not a wimp when it comes to spice.

The conversation continued as we ate the first few "wings."

Me: "It's hot!"
Carolyn: "Wait for it; it keeps coming!"

In response to the growing heat setting my mouth ablaze, I take a drink of my Coke and then my wife continues.

Carolyn: "That'll only make it worse. Didn't you see that episode of Food Detectives?"
Me: "It's worth a shot." My wife is right. The soda only sloshes the heat around.
Me: "I was right, we need some ranch dressing."
Carolyn: "We don't have any ranch."
Me: "What do you mean, we don't have any ranch. We always have ranch!"
Carolyn: "I finished the last of it the other day."
Me: "Well, I think this would be better with ranch. I could go eat some really quick."
Carolyn: "I'd be done with them by then."
Jeremiah: "Does the celery help? Does the cheesy potato help with the heat?"
Carolyn: "The cheese helps."
Jeremiah: "Ah, dairy. That's the same reason, spicy Mexican dishes are served with sour cream. But, hey this is good, I like it. Just much spicier than I expected. Sheesh oh Pete!"

But, as it turns out, we decided we liked them.

- What did I eat on Day 3?
Breakfast. Raisin Brain. "Two scoops of raisins in every box." And then half the apple that Isaiah ate for breakfast.

Lunch. The Morningstar Farms "Buffalo Wings." As, I've already mentioned, crazy spicy, but very good. I wasn't crazy about the breading, but I'll get another package again soon. It'll feel strange to even buy them, but you should give them a try. You won't think that they're real chicken buffalo wings, but you won't be disappointed.

Dinner. Dinner was also courtesy of Morningstar Farms. Heck, at this rate, they should probably be the official corporate sponsor of my blog. For the evening meal, I had cheeseburgers made with "Grillers Prime" burgers. In contrast their standard veggie burgers that I had enjoyed before, this was a veggie burger meant to taste more like meat cooked on a grill, I suppose. We also had both oven-baked fries and a salad with romaine lettuce, cucumbers, carrot shavings, and celery. I have to admit that I'm a fan of veggie burgers. The package says the have about half the fat of a burger made with beef. That usually translates to: "Alright, now I can eat two of them!" But I was full after the first burger. And satisfied because it tasted really good. Or, at least way better than the cheeseburgers you had in the school cafeteria.












I'll be out of town on Monday night, so there might not be a blog post for Day 4. But, keep coming back. If I can't blog tomorrow, I'll catch you up on both Day 4 and Day 5 in Tuesday night's post.

For now, 3 days down. 37 to go.

In the meantime, I recommend you view this YouTube clip of comedian Jim Gaffigan discussing vegetarians and meat substitutes. Given my food choices today, this was especially funny.